Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
