why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
