we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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