i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
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