i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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