I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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