Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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