did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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