Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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