dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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