my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
