all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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