So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
