She said her name was "party"
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
