I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
