so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
