if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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