In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
