Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
