Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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