Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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