Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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