Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
