your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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