I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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