I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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