ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
