Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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