And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
