So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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