I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
