there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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