btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Boobs speak an international language.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
