i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Randomize
