You just made me feel so damn special
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
