...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
