Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
