Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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