I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
