The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
