And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
