sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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