Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
