thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
