i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
where are my eyebrows?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
