How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
This baby is an asshole
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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