You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
