Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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