I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
