Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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