I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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