you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
