I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
