But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
